Day 01, Bride of the Battalions. [BoB]

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It’s been a very depressing week.

It’s been more than a month since I’ve finished the first draft of my novel and things have got a lot complicated since.

It’s not fear, doubt and failure that’s depressing me, but rather the lack of motivation, butchering of the spirit, and the ill treatment of my manuscript and all the effort that has gone to it, that’s breaking me.

At this point, all that I ever want is to get this story out.

Just to see my name and work in print.

I’m tired of waiting. I’m exhausted of concerned adults telling me to get a real life. Yes, maybe they are right. I might be young and lack industry insights. I might not know what to do with my life, how to make connections, how to be sensible and quit this career, maybe they are right when they say they are telling this hoping the best for me.Maybe I do not know the business part of this industry.

But I do know how to write.

I know how to tell a story.

I know how to put word after word, sentence after sentence on paper. I know how to create a fictional world, from scratch. I know how to paint a picture with my pen. I know how to plot and I know how to FINISH a novel, without giving up on it or even thinking about giving up on it for one second.

I know determination, faith and focus. I know discipline.

All that I need is for the people around me to believe in me, and give me a chance. It’s not fear, doubt or failure that upsets me. I have never had fears or doubts and I have never seen anything as a failure. But I cannot live without motivation, and support. Especially by the people I hold close to my heart and the people I love and respect.

Because nothing kills the spirit of a writer like her loved ones’ lack of faith in her.

This blog is like my virtual diary.

Writing in here is my way of coping with hard times. Everything that has happened has been written through. Good and bad times have been entered in here. The bad times, especially. My health issues, depression that came along with it, my short stories, my family, and every deepest and clearest thought I’ve had has been w written in here. That is exactly why I’m writing this one too.

I’m NOT writing this, eager for advice or sympathy. So, please save those in the comments. As messed up as I might sound, I’ve got this shit handled.

I never look for help and support. It’s just not my style. I believe in being independent and facing challenges.

This post is a plan of action.

This is to show the people, wannabe writers and myself especially, how hard it gets, for a 21 year old, who has no connections in the publishing industry, to get her first novel out.

This is not a cynical criticism on the industry. No.

This is a record.

A record, that would be updated every Wednesday.

I will post every single update I get with my manuscript here. Every single rejection and acceptance, every new episode, every single step that Bride of the Battalions takes from finding home at a publishing house to being published, will be entered here.

EVERY WEDNESDAY.

So, if you are an amateur novelist, or a concerned parent of one, a friend or relative of a writer, or simply someone who thinks the process is exciting, do not forget to check this blog out every Wednesday.

We’ll see how long it gets, shall we?

Love,

Bala.

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6 Comments

  1. Bala, you said I am your soul brother. Do you know how to prove it?
    Last night, not knowing that you were writing this piece, something popped up in my mind and I felt like writing a poem.
    This one…
    —–
    Baby steps that I take,
    Belief ‘o mine that you try to shake,
    Those itchy stares, those creepy glares,
    I duck them all as I crawl,
    You’ve your doubts, sounds all fair,
    It may take a while, but I’m gonna be there.

    Through the scorching heat,
    And the rains, tough to beat,
    Eyeballing Sun beam, Facing the Stream,
    My tomorrows are conceived,
    Till the day they are born,
    Smiles and Tears we’ll share,
    It may take a while, but I’m gonna be there.

    Yes, I’m gonna be there.
    —–

    Do you see what happened there? It is beyond amazing.

    And about the first draft of BoB, and lack of motivation, wait for about a week or so and you will feel all charged up yet again.

    Never lose hope, faith and belief. I know you won’t. Not because you are non-human. Because after all the hard work you have put in, you can not afford to let it go that easy.

    Cheers! 🙂

    1. Tejas Anna, wow. Mind blown. And that poem was all that I needs to brighten thing up.
      Now I know that as tough things can get, I know that with people like you, who are just a text away, I known Ill never be alone.
      Love you loads.

  2. Hey Bala,
    You are sweet, strong and stronger 🙂
    I know you won’t get depressed cause you are a strong contender. So be happy and stay cool..
    Everything will come up in our own way.. I will try my best to find some publication house for o(ur) BoB .. 🙂
    Stay blessed and cheer up!! ❤

  3. Alright !

    No advice as mentioned or warned..

    You have come a long way I hope – a complete draft.. So hang on..

    Will keep visiting on Wednesdays… Hoping the Bride wins them all battles..

    1. Hey Dinesh.
      Thank you so much. (For sparing me some advice and for all your wishes.)
      And yes I did feel accomplished when I finished the first draft. It was so overwhelming. But now, it has finally dawned upon me that FINISHING is just 1% of the work 😢 Thanks a million for your wishes. God Knows I need it!!

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