It’s been a very depressing week.
It’s been more than a month since I’ve finished the first draft of my novel and things have got a lot complicated since.
It’s not fear, doubt and failure that’s depressing me, but rather the lack of motivation, butchering of the spirit, and the ill treatment of my manuscript and all the effort that has gone to it, that’s breaking me.
At this point, all that I ever want is to get this story out.
Just to see my name and work in print.
I’m tired of waiting. I’m exhausted of concerned adults telling me to get a real life. Yes, maybe they are right. I might be young and lack industry insights. I might not know what to do with my life, how to make connections, how to be sensible and quit this career, maybe they are right when they say they are telling this hoping the best for me.Maybe I do not know the business part of this industry.
But I do know how to write.
I know how to tell a story.
I know how to put word after word, sentence after sentence on paper. I know how to create a fictional world, from scratch. I know how to paint a picture with my pen. I know how to plot and I know how to FINISH a novel, without giving up on it or even thinking about giving up on it for one second.
I know determination, faith and focus. I know discipline.
All that I need is for the people around me to believe in me, and give me a chance. It’s not fear, doubt or failure that upsets me. I have never had fears or doubts and I have never seen anything as a failure. But I cannot live without motivation, and support. Especially by the people I hold close to my heart and the people I love and respect.
Because nothing kills the spirit of a writer like her loved ones’ lack of faith in her.
This blog is like my virtual diary.
Writing in here is my way of coping with hard times. Everything that has happened has been written through. Good and bad times have been entered in here. The bad times, especially. My health issues, depression that came along with it, my short stories, my family, and every deepest and clearest thought I’ve had has been w written in here. That is exactly why I’m writing this one too.
I’m NOT writing this, eager for advice or sympathy. So, please save those in the comments. As messed up as I might sound, I’ve got this shit handled.
I never look for help and support. It’s just not my style. I believe in being independent and facing challenges.
This post is a plan of action.
This is to show the people, wannabe writers and myself especially, how hard it gets, for a 21 year old, who has no connections in the publishing industry, to get her first novel out.
This is not a cynical criticism on the industry. No.
This is a record.
A record, that would be updated every Wednesday.
I will post every single update I get with my manuscript here. Every single rejection and acceptance, every new episode, every single step that Bride of the Battalions takes from finding home at a publishing house to being published, will be entered here.
So, if you are an amateur novelist, or a concerned parent of one, a friend or relative of a writer, or simply someone who thinks the process is exciting, do not forget to check this blog out every Wednesday.
We’ll see how long it gets, shall we?
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