Five Favorite Feelings.

favfeel

When I woke up this morning, I was scrolling down my previous blog posts and my Facebook timeline (Yes, I stalk myself online, don’t judge me :p ) and I couldn’t help but worry about the kind of mood I’ve been in for the past few weeks. I’ve been gloomy, depressed and so full of negativity. In short, all that I did all summer was to complain. This post is supposed to counter-balance all that.

But before I begin, I’d like to confess that this is not going to be super-funny and this is not going to trigger your senses or intellect with deep thoughts. I’m not going to say things like ‘When he looks at you with a smile’ or ‘Marrying the love of your life’ or ‘When you see your crush go from online to typing’ and those kind of mushy things when I talk about my favorite feelings. If you’re into those kind of feelings though, I have to say, you’re on the wrong page!

I am NOT a patron of romance and you should get off this blog before you accuse me of hurting your feelings.

This might not even be the least bit realatable!!

This is just going to be an honest and plain composition of five of the most favorite feelings in the world. This is nothing more than a list that the lazy harry potter obsessed girl in her early twenties would love.

1.    Proving something that ‘elders’ said or believed in,  to be wrong.

(Well, I actually wanted to use the term ‘grown ups’ or ‘adults’ but I quickly deleted that phrase because although I keep forgetting it, I am 21, and technically I am an adult, so that term wouldn’t be contextually appropriate)

shalini

This feeling is a rarity.

And without a doubt the BEST feeling in the world.

I’m sure EVERYONE of us, irrespective of your nationality or social background, has a parent, a very nosy aunt or a quite judgmental uncle shower you down with advice, and they tell you something quite controversial that provokes your intellect, but you can’t talk back because they’re an adult and you’re not?

For example, they tell us how studious and obedient a particular ‘Shalini’ (who is also of your age and a very distant relative) is? But only when you meet Shalini do you realize that she is everything what your parents told you not to be, and yet she covers her otherwise unethical behavior with a shiny report card that’s full of distinctions and gold medals?

Shalini can drink, party around,stay online way past her bed time, go out clubbing with boys, smoke, and even get into a live in relationship but she’d still be forgiven and celebrated as the star of the family, BECAUSE she has a gold medal and a US Visa.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not being judgmental about all the things that Shalini does, but I’m trying to emphasize the kind of double standards we are presented with in our society.

Because all the ostentatious things that Shalini-The-Topper does is completely acceptable, while I as much as leave the milk to boil and forget about it, marks the beginning of world war three.

Wow.

It is ALWAYS exciting and thrilling to expose Shalini’s true identity and watching your parents’ or uncle’s face fall with regret and painful disappointment can NEVER lose it’s charm.

2. Seeing two people you’ve been suspecting to be in a relationship, finally announce it. 

hinny

This is, by far, the most amusing feeling I’ve ever experienced. It’s quite entertaining and fun. I strongly suspect that it triggers the novelist in me, to see that my judgement about the secret relationship was right. That moment when they finally come out of their secrecy and officially confess the relationship, and while everyone else is shocked or surprised, your thoughts go like…. ‘YeS! I knew it!! God, I’m a genius!!’

Priceless.

3. Meeting a person you’ve never seen in person, but are pretty close with online, for the first time. 

cocktail

I’ve met certain very amazing and like minded people online. These people are the ones I go for advice, in writing and in life.

I’m a part of a tiny and cozy writing community called ‘The Cocktail’ and the group is almost like a second family to me. They’re the ones who read the first draft of my novel, they’re the ones who keep motivating me and in fact, they’re the ones who taught me the real pleasure of writing for yourself. How we came to find each other, is a completely different story in itself, but every single time I learn something new about my peers, I cannot help but wonder that we’re all made for each other and that our lives have been connected in the most beautifully unique way possible.

This is a feeling that I haven’t really had yet, but I’m sure would feel just the same as I imagine it to be in my head. Of course, there will be lots of hugs and screaming with excitement when we actually meet, but I cannot wait to have a proper Cocktail reunion.

Sri di, Hema di, TJ, Del, Priyakshi, Kavya and Mukilan, if you’re reading, just know that even if I find my Prince Charming one day, he will NEVER take the place that I have for you guys in my heart and in my life.

4. Reading a spine chilling plot twist, and feeling your heart get all bouncy and wild as you clutch the book tightly and crash on the floor, crying. 

reading

This is quite a dangerous feeling, but a favorite nevertheless.

I am one of those people, who don’t just ‘read’ a book. I live the lives of the characters for the short while that I’m in their world. Especially when you are reading a 500 page book that has several different pieces of narration, that are in no way related to each other, and then somewhere at the middle of the book they MEET and it all FINALLY makes sense.

That one scene in a book that FINALLY brings everything together, a page, a chapter, a sentence, or sometimes even a word, and you finally see the underlying theme that unifies the thirty different characters and you are like ‘Whaaattttttttttttttt? Noooooooooo!!’ and the world you live in is NEVER the same again?

That is by far the best and most emotionally satisfying feeling I’ve ever had.

5.Finishing a Story. 

writing

That wonderful and glorious moment when you finish writing the climax of a story, play an A.R.Rahman soundtrack, make yourself a cup of tea and sit back, exhausted and proud of the laborious process. It is this feeling, that keeps bringing me back to my pen. It is the minute I finish writing a story, that’s when I realize that I’ve done the job that I was born to do, it’s when I realize that writing is where my calling is at.

Of course, the business part of it sometimes drives me berserk, but I can never stop or quit writing.

So, that’s it. Five of my most favorite feelings in the world. And in the words of Jane Austen,

I wish as well as everybody else to be perfectly happy; but like everybody else, it must be in my own way. 

I’m really glad you kept reading for so long, because happiness is a very subjective feeling. So, what’s on your list favorite feelings that make you happy? Tell me in the comments section or do a blog post of the same title and let me know!

Love,

Bala.

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