I shouldn’t be allowed to write this.
In all honesty, I should be dragged away from my computer and locked in an underground cellar, just so that I do not proceed any further with this outrageous post.
I have no qualification to be writing this.
Taking relationship advice from me, is like taking non-violence lessons from an Assassin.
I am a cruel insensitive person with no mushy feelings, and completely capable of snapping people out my life in seconds. I have trust issues. I take time to form attachments – and that could be a minimum two years, before I let my guard down.
If you know me personally, you probably know that I lack patience, can be astonishingly quiet and that I have these rigid walls shielding my truest emotions from the world.
Like I said, I should not be allowed to write this.
However, since you’re already on the page, you might as well finish reading this short write-up, and scorn at me later.
[**Fair Disclaimer** The author does not hold any responsibility for the many relationships that might get broken on account of the nasty fights the answers to these questions might bring. Neither does she assure any ounce of sanity or sense in the following five questions and any snide remarks stating that the post is ‘Impractical’ or ‘Fanatasy-ish’ or ‘Very Unreal’ would be brutally ignored. Also, this post might sound like “Five ways to judge your date ” to some, but I do not intend for it to mean that way.]
These five questions will be a life saver, but only to those who have a Happy-Go-Disney approach to life. To those who lack self-pity, low-self esteem and are always full of blind courage and steel resolve.
Ironically, this post is to everyone who thinks they complete themselves. It is to you, if you think that although you are happy being single, you’re afraid you’ve met someone who might eventually add on to that happiness.
This is to all those who are fiercely protective of their happiness and would admit that they occasionally feel repelled by Bollywood RomComs.
And also, to those who think that A.R.Rahman’s music is all the true love that there is.
Falling for someone is easy. Keeping your mind convinced, and muted of all the questions – well, that’s the tough part.
This is MY compilation of five questions. This list is subject to a lot of variation depending on what matters to you, and what your life’s values are build upon.
So, here goes.
1.Is the person a Wizard, or a Vampire/Werewolf, or a Shadow Hunter, Or a Demi God, or a Jedi?
A Person’s fandom can tell you a lot about their nature. However, what tells you more about them is how committed they are to their fandoms. Are they open-minded and willing to listen to arguments against their fandoms? Are they violently defensive? Are they constantly in touch with the recent updates in their worlds? Do they pretend like they don’t care anymore? Are they embarrassed that they like a particular franchise, that they aren’t willing to admit it?
Watch carefully, you can tell a lot and I mean a LOTTTTTT about the way a person identifies themselves with their fandom.
Are they NOT into any fandoms at all? We’ve got that covered too. Refer question #3
2.If the the two of you were cast into a Disney movie, would your characters compliment each other?
What would you and your significant other be?
Would you be Beauty and the Beast? (This one is my personal favorite. I think a relationship that’s like the one Belle and the Beast share – one that’s built on intellectual compatibility, with all the flaws and imperfections, is the one that’ll probably last the longest.)
Would you be Sadness and Joy?
Would you be Rapunzel and Eugene?
Would you be Anna and Kristoff? Or Anna and Sven?
Or would you be Rapunzel and Mother Gothel? (Watch out for this one, if this one checks, you’ve gotten yourself a third parent.)
Would you be Ariel and Prince Eric? If he/she makes you give things up, and tries to change you from who you really are, you are probably stuck in a Little Mermaid kind of relationship, and as flattering as it sounds, trust me, you do not want this.
Sometimes, to your shock, you might find that you are Princess Aurora and the other one is Evil Maleficent.
3.What Kind Of Books Do They Read? Or, Do they read at all?
The one question that would help you find out what a person is like with the kind of books they read. It doesn’t matter if their taste in literature doesn’t match yours. You can never mistake the magic of the intellectual compatibility that comes along with two book lovers getting into a relationship.
This should probably be the first question you should ask, before you fall.
4.What’s their Hogwarts House?
This one never fails. Trust me, when I say it NEVER FAILS.
Gryffindors have a lot of pride and courage. The Ravenclaws are intelligent and witty. The Hufflepuffs can be loyal and committed. The Slytherins can be ambitious and you can count on their word. And sometimes, you will come across people who have a traits that’re a mix of two houses.
However, do not let the rivalry and stereotypes that come with the houses, mislead your feelings for a person. Trust me when I say it is possible for a Gryffindor and a Slytherin to be as madly in love with each other as anyone else.
- What’s the most played song in their device?
If I opened a guy’s music player, and discovered that Kadhal Rojavey was the last song he’d listened to, I’d fall.
No questions asked.
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